Given my background as an Operation Iraqi Freedom Veteran and former Infantryman for the United States Army, I get asked by almost everyone I know: how in the world did I get into ballroom dancing? It’s quite simple really. This is story.
It’s the Fall of 2009, and I was working a bar that had a nightclub in my hometown while I was in college, and I saw some folks on the dance floor in what appeared to me to be some form of drunken salsa dancing. I admired the heck out of their motivation in attempting what they were doing, especially given how they had been drinking, as the young lady was celebrating her 21st birthday. I will also admit that around this time I was also a closeted fan of Dancing With The Stars, and was somewhat afraid to admit it because back then, it wasn’t as accepted as it is today.
So I got the idea that having survived a couple of tours in Iraq, why couldn’t I do this. I was also engaged at the time, and I figured that this would be something that my fiancée would appreciate and enjoy. I mean. Who doesn’t like a guy who can dance, right?
I started asking some of the bar-backs if any of them would be willing to show me a few things, as I was genuinely intrigued by this, and I caught A LOT of laughs and a number of jokes spoken in Spanish (I still don’t know what they saying to this day). Word had gotten around the bar, and let me tell you, the jokes were not only plentiful, but creative and original.
I had actually about given up when one of the servers approached me and said that if I could find a place that taught lessons, that she would be on board with taking them with me. Now, she was very attractive, and I had to ask my fiancée if it was cool if this could happen, and she said: “I’m cool with it, but if things get stupid, you better walk away.”
So, I did a little research, and found a place located at Hawthorne Mall in Vernon Hills, so I booked a lesson for the two of us. On the day of the lesson, I showed up, and the young lady I was supposed to dance with decided it was stupid and backed at the day off. Well, I already paid for the lesson, so I went through with it.
The first lesson went well, and the first dance I ever learned was the rumba, and I was talked into signing up for additional lessons in the form of a package. I was on a tight budget, but somehow I was going to make this work. Members of my family eventually found out what I was getting into, and my mom laid it out perfectly clear: “Here we go folks. Fred Flintstone is turning into twinkle toes.”
As time went on, I began to appreciate more and more the values that came with dancing as a whole……without taking a single salsa lesson along the way. My partner, Laura, and I began prepping for my first competition up in Milwaukee at the Pfister Hotel. I ended up straining my Achilles Tendon on the 3rd dance of 30 total dances. Somehow, I finished all 30 dances on an injured left foot, while also scoring numerous 1st and 2nd place finishes along the way. I was officially hooked on competing as well.
What followed was a roller coaster ride of emotions and events that went all over the place. Laura quit her studio and walked away completely. I transferred to Western Illinois University, and my fiancée left me all in span of a few months. I was completely an utterly alone, with no one to really dance with, and no one to help guide through the darkness I had found myself in, with the combination of PTSD and severe depression doing a lot of work on me. I would do some small performances with those students that were willing to try something at our campus ministry, but it only did so much.
Fast forward to the Fall of 2015. I’m a couple of years removed from graduating college, and things are not going quite as planned. I needed to dance again, and I was desperate to find a place. I ended up finding a studio called May I Have This Dance in Jefferson Park of Chicago. I initially paired up with a teacher named Stephanie, and she introduced me to something completely new to me: Showcases. In the span of a few weeks, we pieced together a dark rumba to a song from From Dusk Until Dawn (think Selma Hayek dancing with a snake). I was REALLY hooked. She showed me something completely new, and I had an absolute blast doing it.
But still……..no salsa lessons…….
After a break, I would later pair up with a new instructor named Nicole, and together, we would work together for next 10 years, competing in 3 competitions while scoring 5 total medals between us, while also performing some of the most unique and entertaining Showcase performances we could think. We have also had two of our performances uploaded onto YouTube surprisingly.
But still………no salsa…….
Our relationship completely transcended from being a student/teacher, to that of a pure friendship, as I consider her to be one of my dearest friends on this planet. Leading up to our final performances together, we were able to express what one meant to the other, and there was nothing but love and admiration and mutual respect. She never gave up on me when I was nearly down and out, and she was always in my corner. Nicole is my personal angel. My last two dances with Nicole, which were filmed, were the rumba……and finally, the dragon I’ve been chasing for YEARS: salsa.
Over the years, I learned what dancing could mean to someone like me. I was alone, very damaged, emotionally dented, and battling many internal demons that many don’t know about. Dancing, to me, has saved my life. I found myself on the very edge a number of times, and was able to use dancing and performing as a coping mechanism that I never knew was possible. I could tell whatever story I wanted to tell, and I could put my all into it, and found the therapeutic value to be extremely valuable and life-saving.
I went from being a hybrid Fred Flintstone/Twinkle Toes shy beginner, to not only a competitive dancer, but also a Showcase performer. These days, it is so much more accepted, and the jokes are almost nonexistent. I’m actually referred to as an inspiration to many. So I tell folks: with my banged up body, loss of hearing in my left ear, and being a much bigger guy; if I can do it, then ANYONE can do it.
Dancing went from being an expensive hobby, to a coping mechanism, straight into an undeniable passion, that just continues to drive me. I’m always a student of this world, and never take anything as being good enough and settling for being just okay. I’m my own worst critic, and strive to be the best that I can possibly pull off, while also continuing to surprise people one performance at a time.
……..and I’m not done yet……..
